188. I'm Too Scared To Quit My Job

How to Get the Balls to Leave

This week Michelle and I address a common question she finds amongst her sabbatical community: How do I find the courage to leave my job?

We discuss solutions like understanding our finances, addressing fears, and finding a like-minded community.

My A$$-hole Thoughts

Calling out my a$$-hole thoughts was how I broke down the resistance to leaving my job. Don’t worry, we don’t have to address all our problematic thoughts pre-sabbatical; we just have to tip the scale to freedom.

As an example, let me go through one of my former thoughts.

My A-hole Thought #1: People will think I'm a failure if I don't work as a PA

It doesn’t sound like an A-Hole thought, right? Don’t worry, I’ll get to that. I’m using Byron Katie’s The Work to run through this thought.

Is it true? Well, I don’t actually know for sure, so no.

How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? I feel stressed out, embarrassed, ashamed, defensive, sheepish, offended, resentful, and small.

How do you feel? What images do you see? I picture people I know, peers, etc., talking about me and trying to figure out why I couldn’t continue working as a PA. I imagine them thinking I wasn’t doing a good job and I imagine defending and explaining myself. Maybe they will think I am lazy. I imagine other people seeing me with contempt.

Who would you be without the thought? If I CTRL-ALT-DELETE this thought from my brain, I would be free. I would be able to think clearly about making decisions that match up with MY desired course for my life. I would be friendly and loving to my peers and people around me because I wouldn’t perceive I was under attack.

The Turnarounds

This is my favorite part. This is where we flip the question around in as many ways as possible and find examples of how those statements are just as true. It shows me how whatever delusion I choose shapes my reality.

Original: People will think I'm a failure if I don't work as a PA

**Turnaround 1: I will think I'm a failure if I don't work as a PA

Well, yes, no one is actually saying these things to me, so it is just me thinking about these judgments. Really, I am the one creating the judgment.

**Turnaround 2: People won’t think I’m a failure if I don’t work as a PA

Sure, that’s very likely. In which case, I am worrying over nothing.

**Turnaround 3: People will think I am a success if I don’t work as a PA

This is not just possible, but it is actually true. Many people love that I am living an authentic and free life. People share that with me all the time. I love it and want to surround myself with more people like this.

**Turnaround 4: I will think people are failures if they don’t work as a PA

Here it is. Here is the heart of it. I have known people who have left their jobs in medicine, and I have judged them. I have thought maybe THEY couldn’t handle it. I’m the a$$hole that I am worried about judging me. It is my own past judgmental thoughts that are judging me now. The way I allowed my mind to think in the past is what is causing my fears now.

Using The Work on Our Thoughts

I know I am calling myself an A-Hole, but I mean it in the most playful way. Humans are thought machines who churn out thoughts all day just as lemon trees produce lemons. It’s fine. We run into issues when we believe these thoughts and then use these crazy ideas to shape our future realities. Addressing our thoughts is like a spring cleaning of the mind. What stressful delusions are shaping how we create our future realities?

By facing these thoughts head-on and challenging their validity, we can find the courage to make bold changes in our lives. Remember, finding the freedom to leave a job isn’t just about overcoming the practical hurdles but also about dismantling the mental barriers that hold us back.

Can you recognize any thoughts that are getting in the way of you taking action toward your goals? Post it in the comments if you feel comfortable. Remember we are not that creative! Sharing helps us remember that our minds are not personal.

Show Notes

• 167. How to Calculate Your Net Worth

• How to calculate FI number and CoastFI number: 165. How Financially Free Are You? The 4 Numbers You Need to Know

• The Work of Byron Katie

• CampFI

• Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru

Community Time:

• Paul and Harris [

  HYPRfocus
  ], thank you for your comments on our episode 185. We Are Never Going Back To Work. We hope your labs come back with amazing results!

• Tamara Herring
  Thank you for loving episode 187. Get Rich In Three Steps - The Simple Not Sexy Way. We want to keep hearing about your finance journey, awesome work!

• TJ
  Thank you for sharing your sabbatical journey in our comments on our substack for episode 185. We Are Never Going Back To Work. If you haven’t read it, check out TJ’s journey in the comments here!

As you know, Michelle and I LOVED CAMPFI and will be going again this year. Here is the YT video of our talk about How to Make Friends as an Adult!

Want to Join Michelle’s Sabbatical Course?

Michelle and Toby recently reunited with the first cohort of their sabbatical course. It is more than just a course, it is a community of people looking to think outside the corporate box. Anyone interested in sabbaticals is welcome to join. You do NOT have to have been laid off to participate. Click here if you are interested in joining the course!

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