185. We Are Never Going Back To Work
and here is why!
Michelle and I are NEVER going back to work!!! Ok, maybe that’s clickbait, but post-sabbatical no one returns back to work in the same way.
"A man cannot step into the same river twice, because it is not the same river, and he is not the same man." -Heraclitus
When I started my sabbatical in September 2023, I had some ideas of what type of work I might do. Even though I was reluctant to, I thought about working as a PA in a less time-consuming manner- part-time, remote, etc. I considered different nonprofit jobs that would complete my public service loan forgiveness, but not be as strenuous.
I was thinking from a place of such scarcity, and I did not even realize it. I remember considering receptionist jobs at the hospital. It seemed practical- lower stress and completed my loan forgiveness BUT do you know what I feared? I feared that someone would know that I was a PA and wonder why I was working a “lesser” job.
I cannot believe I thought like that.
That reflects how out of order my priorities were when I first left my sabbatical. Even though I have enough money to live comfortably with any job, I felt obliged to work “at my level” just so HYPOTHETICAL OTHER PEOPLE wouldn’t judge me.
Since being on a sabbatical my happiness has gone from a 6/10 to a 9.5/10. I have very little anxiety. I’m not walking around sleep-deprived 24/7. I just got my routine labwork back and the results are not just my personal best, but also some of the best lab results I have seen. My vision has improved so much that I had to get a lower prescription. I regularly exercise multiple times a day and have significantly more muscle mass… which is very important for an osteoporosis-prone Asian female like myself! This is probably fully considered bragging, but I don’t know how else to say that everything has changed.
The most important change has been the inner work. Thanks to tools like The Work of Byron Katie and A Course in Miracles, I’m changing my paradigm of how I see the world from judging to loving.
Byron Katie tells a story in her book A Thousand Names For Joy about a man who has a near-death experience. From this experience, he sees that things we think are trivial are important and things we think are important are trivial.
This man’s insight is the ultimate lesson of my sabbatical. When I think about how I was willing to work a “higher level” job for money I don’t need just so other people would not judge me, I see how I was living in a delusion where the trivial was disguised as important.
Of course, life has seasons. When I was in my early twenties, I wanted to be good at something, and help people and, of course, I needed money. For many years I loved my job, but as our needs change we need to evaluate how our life also needs to change. Working a stressful, time-consuming job may be useful and fun in one season but draining in another season.
The seasons of life bring different needs and priorities, and what once was fulfilling might no longer serve us. This journey isn't about never working again; it's about working in a way that honors who we have become. So, while Michelle and I may still engage in work, we will not be stepping into the same river because we have changed, and so has the world around us.
Show Notes:
Want to Join Michelle’s Sabbatical Course?
Michelle and Toby recently reunited with the first cohort of their sabbatical course. It is more than just a course, it is a community of people looking to think outside the corporate box. Anyone interested in sabbaticals is welcome to join. You do NOT have to have been laid off to participate. Click here if you are interested in joining the course!
SAME.
I’m not going back to work either, but I’m starting to think about it as not going back to work like that.
Let’s retire the concept of work-life balance.
Work happens within the broader space of life - separating the two has created a pretty damaging mindset for so many in traditional jobs (and particularly office/knowledge workers).
Let’s start to bring work back into life. And, by extension, bring ourselves back to life…
My sabbatical 7 years ago was interesting. I was going to do this massive solo road trip, hit all the national parks, just live very cheaply for as long as possible. Only only problem: I never tried solo road tripping before uprooting my life. I only read about how awesome it was on the internet. Actually, I don't enjoy solo road tripping at all and I definitely won't be doing that again. So, I bought a cheap place in an urban desert, joined some sports leagues, did some doordash driving which was a great way to learn what restaurants were around, and I spent a ton of time in FIRE social media space, and I went on lots and lots of dates. I quickly learned that voluntary unemployment was not attractive to the people who were matching with me on dating apps, so I probably need to include work in my life. I cold emailed a company in my former industry and ended up in a job that paid like $15/hour doing some data entry with basically zero human contact, it paid crap and had a bit of an annoying commute. It was low effort, but suddenly I lacked energy to even want to date. I quit that job like 2 months later. A prominent blogger asked me if I had retired again? "I guess so". Maybe a year later, I started applying to a part time government job because I was getting a little bored with all the free time and in reality I did not have enough money to just be on sabbatical forever. interviewed to work in airport...passed the interview, applied to some other airports, got offered an airport job in a Hawaiian tourist area - but it didn't math out to work part time there. Working in an airport was very humbling and also with the frequent human interaction, made me appreciate my time spent alone. Lasted 9 months there before I found a more normal desk job in the government. Accidentally started a whole second career in government, ended up moving back to that dirt cheap condo which was listed for sale and never sold, and now all of a sudden it's been 5.75 years in various government jobs with 5 physical moves during that time frame. The fun of living in different neighborhoods as well as employer funded travel to new-to-me cities like Jacksonville and Cincinnati. I'll get a micro pension in 23 years. In reality, I didn't need to go back to work to improve my dating life, and going back to work didn't do that. I more needed to improve my mental health and better attract the kind of person who wants to be with the kind of person that I am and strive to be. Portfolio has more than doubled since I left my original career. FI based on current expenses isn't all that far away. I sometimes think about another sabbatical because there are definitely things I would prefer to be doing rather than prioritizing work, but I am very confident that I'll hit my financial goals before I age out of doing the things that I would like to do, so I guess I don't mind delaying gratification too much. These days, I tell myself that if I can't stand my job for 2 week straight, that's when I know I'm out. That seems to work for now.