190. Which Tendency Are You? Taking Sabbaticals the Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel Way!
How does your motivation style affect the way you approach a sabbatical?
Michelle and I often use Gretchen Rubin’s “four tendencies” to understand how different people approach life. The four tendencies describe how a person approaches inner and outer expectations. Today we explore how each motivation tendency approaches sabbaticals.
Here is a summary of each motivation type from Gretchen Rubins's book The Four Tendencies:
Upholder: Meets both inner and outer expectations easily. They follow rules and meet deadlines, keeping commitments to themselves and others.
Questioner: Questions all expectations and will only meet them if they make sense. They need justifications and prefer to act based on their own analysis and reasoning.
Obliger: Meets outer expectations but struggles with inner ones. They do well with accountability to others but have a hard time following through on personal goals without external pressure.
Rebel: Resists both inner and outer expectations. They value freedom and choice, often acting based on what they want to do, not what they're told.
An Upholder’s Approach
I have a strong Upholder tendency. My rebel family teases me for my rule-following and checkboxing ways. I’m the type of person who will wait in a line for 20 minutes only to realize that there is no line; it was just a slightly more organized grouping of people. If someone gives me a plan, I follow it happily and without question.
The best part of being an Upholder is meeting my inner expectations. I wake up in the morning, adhere to my schedule, my life progresses, and I’m happy. I cheerfully refuse cake, frappuccinos, margaritas, and late nights out. I’m not a foodie and I’m not fun. I love that about myself.
As obedient as I can be, it is by following my inner expectations that I found my way out of society’s rulebook. When I learned about FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early), it wasn’t hard for me to follow the principles. Following rules is kinda my thing. By the same token, now that I’ve been on sabbatical for a year, I realize that I don’t need much to be happy. If with nothing, I can be in peace and bliss, then why would I work 40+ hours? It’s like filling a perfect, pristine room with expensive high-maintenance trash.
It might seem like an Upholder should naturally gravitate towards entrepreneurship since they meet inner expectations easily. But I’ve found the opposite for myself. Right now, I’m in the "Barista FI" phase. Barista FI describes someone who isn’t completely retired but works a less stressful, lower-paying job to supplement their income. For an Upholder, this seems extremely practical and efficient.
When I needed to accumulate money, I worked a higher-paying, more stressful job. Now that I’m focused on maintaining my wealth and enjoying life, I can work a lower-paying, less stressful job. I recently started a receptionist job at a parks and recreation gym. This job gives me enough income to avoid pulling from my investments and helps me meet my student loan requirements. Plus, my biggest expense outside of housing is exercise classes, so the job helps reduce my costs too!
As an Upholder, this balance feels just right—productive yet peaceful, structured yet flexible. And that’s the sweet spot for me.
How do you work with your tendency to create the life that you want? Let us know in the comments.
Show Notes
Community Time:
Thank you
for your comment on our episode “We are never going back to work”Thank you Kevin for inquiring about the term “Fi-Curious”
Thank you
for restacking our post 189. What If I Get Bored During My Sabbatical?
Chamaree de Silva gave this AMAZING talk at CampFI on Travel rewards. This is the best and most entertaining talk on travel rewards that I have ever heard! If travel regularly you need to know these tips. Charmaree is HILARIOUS she had this FI-nerd dying with laughter.
Want to Join Michelle’s Sabbatical Course?
Michelle and Toby recently reunited with the first cohort of their sabbatical course. It is more than just a course, it is a community of people looking to think outside the corporate box. Anyone interested in sabbaticals is welcome to join. . Click here if you are interested in joining the course!
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Thank you for the mention! LOVED the 4 tendencies image. Tells so much! Wish I could be an upholder, I'd accomplish so much more. I think I'm closer to the obliger.