118. Vulnerability & Connection
How to be more vulnerable and build community
Sammie and I deep dive into vulnerability and how it is part of making connections and building a community. Despite having a podcast and writing personal essays, I don’t consider myself a vulnerable person. I always have to take a breath and open myself up to share stories about myself. Sammie is better about being vulnerable in her relationships, but can struggle being vulnerable about her work and at her work.
The advantage of vulnerability is that it allows us to be our most authentic self. We’re saying, “Hey, this is me, and I think I’m worthy” instead of censoring ourselves for others. Sometimes we’re scared though and instead of dealing with our negative emotions choose to numb those feelings with alcohol, drugs, food or social media. Brene Brown points out that we can’t selectively numb a feeling. If we are numbing ourselves to our negative emotions, we are also numbing ourselves to the positive ones.
Something Sammie and I related to was also this idea that the hard part of vulnerability is the desire to control and predict the end result. A part of vulnerability is putting yourself out there without knowing what’s going to happen, good or bad.
So we examine the benefits of vulnerability and how to be more vulnerable. We share our own stories (so vulnerable!) and how we are working to evolve in this area of life.
What are your thoughts on vulnerability? Does it come easy to you or do you find it difficult to open up?
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Show Notes:
Vulnerability: The Key to Better Relationships by Mark Manson
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It’s easy for me to be vulnerable. In my writing, I share habits ways that I’m unkind to myself and the ways I’m learning to be nicer to myself. I know that the results of my brave vulnerability help me and other people. This is what keeps me on the vulnerable path: Remembering that the benefits outweigh the fears of external judgment.
This beautiful quote captures another side to vulnerability that I had not considered:
“The hard part of vulnerability is the desire to control and predict the end result.” – Michelle Varghoose